A Married Woman
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: HarmMeg SUMMARY: Today Meg realized she's a married woman. Sequel to "A Married Man"


TITLE: A Married Woman

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Harm/Meg

TIMELINE: end of season 1

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: since so many have demanded a sequel to "A Married Man" here it is!

It was a challenge to write a fic from Meg's POV and I hope I did her justice.

Btw., the story from the blog mentioned in this fic is real, a real-life account. Unfortunately it's been months since I've been on that site so I can't remember either the link, or the person or the name of the site.

SUMMARY: Today Meg realized she's a married woman. Sequel to "A Married Man".

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Today I realized I'm a married woman.

Hey, eyes off my ring finger! 

NOW!

Jeez! 

Some people...

I didn't mean it that way, with rings, a marriage certificate and the same last names.

Well, not yet.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Megan Rabb sure sounds fantastic, don't you think?

I know _I _do.

I have a feeling it won't be long until it's real, until I'm married that way too, though. I can't wait.

What I meant is I'm married in every other way, but the official kind.

From who's name I just used you already know whom I mean.

Considering the special looks and smiles and the tender, loving touches he has only for me I'm certain he wouldn't mind if this was for real. I know I wouldn't.

But I'm getting off track, love and hormones do that to me.

You ask what do hormones have to do with it. The answer is: not much actually.

They just helped me realize my actual status as a married woman.

Hey, I'm not saying there's no chemistry between Harm and me, cause there is. We have so much chemistry and so many sparks flying between us we could power the entire country for 100 years all by ourselves. 

But the basis of our relationship aren't raging hormones on both sides nor mere physical attraction. There's much, much more to our relationship than that.

The basis for our relationship and for our future official marriage are our strong friendship, unconditional love, implicit trust and this unexplainable connection we have.

I don't know a better way of describing it and will undoubtebly sound corny, but Harm and I are soulmates. In every possible way.

It's like we've been together for eternity, for hundreds of lifetimes and in every lifetime we've lived.

We can't read outright thoughts, but we know what the other is thinking. Always.

One example is what happened just 2 weeks after we got partnered up together. It was during a case with Navy Lieutenants popping up dead.

Anyway, during the investigation we got annoyed by some police Detective. While I do have to admit he had a nice muscle definition, he wasn't my type. Too short, looked like didn't own a razor, too full of himself, too slick and too short. Did I mention too short?

Well, it really bugged me. I like my men taller than I am, which admittedly cuts the selection down significantly. I'm almost 6 feet tall and it's really hard to find a man taller than me when I'm wearing heels.

Which is just a small reason among thousands of others why I love Harm. He's much taller than me, even when I'm wearing high heels and literally tower over other men and women, he's still taller. With his body size he also manages something no man ever managed before: he makes me feel utterly feminine, which because of my height I usually don't feel. Can you guess I have a few issues because of my height?

I'm a modern woman, I competed in rodeos and was a champion 3 years in a row, I work in a male-dominated environment, I can defend myself against a man. Admittedly only if I'm prepared for the attack. No woman can fend off a surprise attack, just for the simple fact that we women are not as physically strong as men and they can use their greater mass and weight to overpower us. 

But all that doesn't matter since there's still something primal in me, something which delights in the fact that my man makes me feel like a woman, that I have a man to protect me. A man to love me. Harm.

I remember during that gang-member-in-the-Corps case when Harm and I were ambushed during a walk on the beach. I instinctively jumped into Harm's arms for protection. Not only did his warm, strong embrace infuse me with a feeling of safety and protection, but the even greater impact had the knowledge that I _had _a man to go for safety, that I wasn't alone anymore. However, the biggest impact had the fact that it was Harm. Still, if you tell this to anyone I'll deny it and then sue you for everything you own. I've got a reputation to protect after all.

Sorry for wondering off again, I'm blaming it on hormones. Anyway, I accepted a date with the scruffy Detective to get information on the case. Harm called me just when I was getting ready and during the course of our conversation he guessed... no, that's not the right word, he wasn't doing any guessing, he just _knew_... anyway he knew I was wearing a dress. From knowing me that well, after just two weeks.

Then he completely stunned me when he even correctly declared the color of the dress, which I of course denied. A girl's gotta keep a few secrets, right? Even though he knows everything about me... Well, I did try to maintain the air of mystique until a week later when he put me under a very subtle cross-examination, during which I spilled the beans. And the peas and the tomatoes. He just has to look me deep into my eyes, sink his voice down to that gravely and husky tone and I melt, wanting to give him anything he wants. Damn the man.

After being together for just two weeks the man knew I would wear a dress and a red one at that!

For a second I wondered if he'd planted a camera in my apartment, but dismissed it immediately. Harm would never abuse my trust. And that thought made me feel much better because it revealed I knew him as well. The fact that he'd had the opportunity to do it, that he knew where I lived and had already been in my apartment several times, in the first two weeks of our acquaintance says it all. And, no, I'm not the type of girl to sleep with a man right away, nor to let one into my apartment without knowing him well enough and without knowing he won't try to push the issue. I don't have sex on the first date, nor on the second, nor on the third. I don't take sex lightly and I also don't go around bedding men. Which is why I'm still a virgin, until now I haven't yet met a man I'd really love. And this is one fact I somehow got the feeling he knows. Hell, he knows everything else about me, why wouldn't he know that too? 

It's not that I'm frigid or that I never received any offers, god no, there were plenty of offers, it's just that until I met Harm I have never been in love enough with a man to give him my body. Not only that, except for Harm I have never known a man worthy of giving my virginity to. It can be given only once and, while most modern girls don't consider it a gift or something precious to be given to only _the one_, I do. When I met Harm, even though he succeded in pissing me off within 24 hours (which, when I realized why he'd done it, made me fall in love with him), I knew he was _the one _for me.

And since then I've been in love with him. I'm also the kind of girl who can't be with someone when she loves someone else. I love Harm, which makes me incapable of being involved with any other man. Which is why I've been loyal and devoted to Harm ever since, waiting for our chance to finally be together. If I had started a relationship with someone else I would feel as if I was betraying Harm.

The most significant sign of my, well, ours, marital status came up just an hour ago.

Today I woke up to one of those days. I was cramping, bleeding and, oh the irony of it all, considering how miserable I felt, I was horny. I know women are usually bitchy during those days, but my hormones make me very affectionate. And when around Harm, very horny.

I came to work feeling completely down only to find a lovely large apple being pushed into my hands, while the other was being devoured by my nice partner. My favorite kind, the green one. The kind I also got Harm stuck on.

Can it be more cliche? He knows what I need in the morning, providing it for me automatically, he knows the exact kind, and in return I rubbed off on him. The thing is, we rub off on each other, big time, such a big time that our habits, our tastes, our preferences, etc. are now identical. We are like one person in two bodies. I can't imagine anyone but a married couple of 50 years being this close emotionally and many times physically, having such a bond, and becoming so alike.

He may know me better than anyone else, better than I know myself, but I know him just as well. As he knows everything about me I know everything about him.

In return I gave him the smile I know he loves and I allowed myself to squeeze his hand. Once he managed to steal a kiss, which had me high for hours. Ever since having felt his lips I want to taste them again. But I know if I kiss him now for real, things will go out of control in a heartbeat.

The hormones are making me always so damn horny around him. I have to make concessions to them in the form of an increased physical contact, because if I don't do that, one day I'll snap, throw him on the floor, tear our clothes off and ride him hard until neither of us can walk anymore.

And while that certainly does sound like an attractive prospect, I like my job and Harm likes his and we would both lose them if we did that, cause there's no way no-one wouldn't hear the groans, moans and screams of ecstasy and come to check. Which means there won't be any clothes tearing and ravaging at work. 

Well, just until one of us becomes the JAG, which considering he's 2 ranks above me will first be Harm and only then me. Then we will be able to afford ravaging in his plush, sound-proof office. And since I know we'll be long married by then, with a horde of little Rabbs running around, no-one will dare interrupt the JAG and his wife spending some quality time away from the brood.

Or perhaps I should encourage him to request an assignment with the Command Naval Air Force (CNAF). That would put him in the lane to possibly eventually become the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. JAG is a dead-end assignment for everyone, the highest you can get is to become the JAG and then it's over, end of the road, advancements are no longer possible, since this is the highest assignment and then you retire as a two star. Yes, I'll definitely have to talk to Harm about going to the Pentagon, he'll have much better chances there.

God, look at me, I already sound like a wife. 

Like one of those wives who's career is to promote their husbands' careers. 

What is the saying? Behind every great man stands a woman? Meaning she's the force that helped get him that far.

Except I have a military career of my own. If Harm gets the transfer to the bunker, then I'm going to request one too. That way I'll still be able to be around Harm during the day. I'm sure the SecNav or some other big shot needs a proven JAG as his legal advisor. It will put me in the lane for higher than 2 stars as well, even better, with us being on different roads, neither of us will block the other's advancement up the ladder as it would've done at JAG. 

But, do I want all that for me? Sure, I want a satisfying career, but do I want my life to be only about career, only about the next rank, the next assignement, the next advancement?

I love Harm, I want a family with Harm, at least 3 kids and I don't want to sacrifice my family for my career.

I want my kids to know me, to know I'm their mother cause I will be their mother in every sense and not think of me as that nice lady that comes to visit occasionally, while they think the day-care worker is their mother.

Which reminds me of a pretty sad story I read on the internet a while ago. The saddest thing about this story is that it's real. Anyway, the mother of 2 kids has a full, demanding career, making her stay at work until after dark. She gets up really early, goes to work and returns when the kids, and sometimes the husband, are already in bed. Then, one early morning, one of her daughters was by coincidence awake when the mother was leaving for work and ran after the woman to the porch and yelled after her. "Mommy, when will you come visit us again?"...

That's not all, whenever the father drove the kids to daycare they spent the ride trying to guess which of the passing houses was their mother's home...

That's not what I want for my kids or for myself. I don't want to completely give up my career, but I also don't want to sacrifice my family for it. I will have to draw the line somewhere.

God, look at me! Again! I'm already planning our kids, our home, our entire family life and we're not even really together. Yet.

You see now how I came to the idea of being a married woman?

This is also the reason why I gladly go through this each month. Hey, I didn't mean that I'm glad about it!

The reason why I gladly go through it is because this regular maintenance of the system is insuring I'll be capable of getting pregnant by Harm and giving him children when we get that far.

Do I sound as besotted to you as I do to me?

Then he did something so sweet that my eyes immediately welled up with tears, which quickly overflowed and started streaming down my cheeks. At first I didn't know what he had in mind, but I trusted him. I trust him implicitly, with everything I am, everything I own, with my heart, my mind and my body. As I looked back over my shoulder I knew all my love for him was written on my face and in my eyes. Just as well, because his love for me was there as well, plainly written for all the world to see. 

We love each other, we love each other as we have in our past lives and as we will in our future lives.

There's nothing I want more in life than to be with him, marry him, feel our children grow inside me, have a family with him, grow old with him. When he finally asks me to marry him there's no doubt about my answer and he knows it as well.

And I'm getting the feeling that day isn't so far away. There's a look in his eyes and I know he's already planned out a way for us to be allowed to be together. I know this plan will be set in motion shortly and for some reason I can already feel the comforting and welcome weight of a wedding band on my finger.

Do what you need to do to realize the plan, Harm, I'll be waiting.

THE END

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